Could the GOP be any more predictable?

I’m not a prophet. I’m just experienced.

It didn’t require anything other than above-average intelligence to make the prediction I laid out on the radio last week about Democrats blaming the wide-open border they created on Republican failures to act. Because this has all happened before.

In 1990, George H.W. Bush signed what was at the time the largest tax increase in American history. This occurred after he won the presidency in 1988 with his “read my lips: no new taxes” pledge, but Democrats had pinky-promised him that they would spend more money on deficit reduction than every dollar collected in tax revenue. But did they do that? No, they did not.

Are most of these Republicans traitors, fools, or cowards? Yes.

Instead, the Democrats turned around and ran against Bush for violating his tax pledge and creating a sluggish economy. It was thus that American history was given its first president to lose an election after winning a war.

Two decades later, we watched Republicans win massive midterm elections against a personally popular president named Barack Obama in both 2010 and 2014. These were historic wins. The 2014 midterm saw one of the largest swings of U.S. Senate seats since Reconstruction. What was the driving issue? Obamacare, which Obama promoted with a lie so immense (“If you like your health plan, you can keep it”) that even PolitiFact had to call it out.

So when Republicans won a sweep of the White House and Congress in 2016, was Obamacare repealed? No, it was not. And in 2018, Democrats won back 40 House seats with health care polling as the top issue on voters’ minds.

You can't make this stuff up. And you don’t have to. Routinely Republicans end up owning the travesties that swept them into power in the first place and thus get swept right back out. You can only slip on so many banana peels and step on so many rakes before we stop thinking you’re Mr. Bean just randomly and naively finding yourself in mishap after mishap and start thinking you’re dutifully playing your part in the nefarious plot playing itself out.

It’s like watching the Washington Generals play the Harlem Globetrotters. One team is obviously controlled opposition. They're just there as cannon fodder. Yes, everyone is really sweating playing the sport of basketball, but the outcome is scripted.

Congressional Republicans even voted more than 50 times when Obama was president to repeal Obamacare and make him either veto it or, when Democrats had the Senate, make then-Majority Leader Harry Reid shoot it down. But when the moment of truth arrived in 2017, the Republican master plan was to maintain the individual mandate and only repeal the mandate on corporations, thus fulfilling every Democratic Party attack ad blasting the GOP as whores for big business.

But hey! Populism!

History doesn’t just repeat, it also rhymes. Democrats can just keep playing the same song we’ve all heard before because Republicans by and large keep on playing the same useful idiots — whether purposely or not.

Are most of these Republicans traitors, fools, or cowards? Yes. Because it does not matter which of these motivational categories an individual quisling like a Mitch McConnell or James Lankford falls into. The predictable outcome is the same regardless.

There could be no doubt, after McConnell and Lankford worked with the enemy to orchestrate a TARP-level event through legislation that previous generations would have considered treasonous, that Democrats would pounce and then shift the blame they deserve upon the alleged opposition party.

Every good color revolutionist knows you don’t ever let live the simps who aided and abetted your rise to power, lest their spinelessness come back to haunt you. Therefore, McConnell and Lankford received their potter’s field and maybe even a jelly bean to freshen their breath after they finished performing for the regime. Lankford was even “honored” on CNN. They have received their reward in full.

I even accurately predicted exactly what Biden would say — but not even I thought he would say exactly what I predicted only two hours after I predicted it. But, hey, when the White House apothecary gives you the signal that the feeble dementia patient’s Adderall drip has maxed out, you trot him out to read his lines from the preapproved script and have him pretend to be president while you can.

Yes, this is all cynical as hell, I know. But hell is a cynical place, and it’s from hell that much of what we are seeing originates these days.